Speaker A: Welcome to the Therapist burnout podcast, episode 52. Hello, therapist. Welcome back to the program. We are in the in between space, right between the holidays and the new year. Many of us have some time off.
For me, it’s been a lot of time with family. Talked last week on how I was going to have a restful Christmas holiday, and I did for the most part.
It was kind of funny that we had this huge dinner on Christmas Eve because I told my partner and everyone, I guess, that I wasn’t cooking on Christmas day. Oh, my gosh.
My eye is itching for some reason. Weird. Okay, I had a moment.
So, yeah, I just know December can bring a whole lot of depletion for us as mental health professionals. And I think also being a mother and putting on Christmas brings a lot of depletion for me.
And so I did change some things around this year and I think on the whole they went really well. So I’m. I’m happy I put some things in place. I hope you were able to get some rest or getting some rest over the next week until we kind of start back to work in January.
I mean, maybe some of you are back to work. I hope not, though. I hope you’re taking some time off because January is usually typically pretty busy busy for most mental health professionals.
So I hope you’re able to take some time off. So today I just want to recap the December series that we had on why it’s hard to make a change.
Because a lot of us think of January.
We have a lot of motivation for change in January, I think, because we’re primed to do it socially. I think we have those New Year’s resolutions that kind of chime into our brain that it’s a new year, new start.
I don’t want to say new you because it’s so cliche and no one likes it.
But it is a time where I think we have increased motivation to think about change. So I always like to use it because we use that energy for something.
For me, I’m a fitness instructor and a personal trainer as well. So my classes get bigger in January, and so I watch this influx of people who come into the gym, and I’m always excited by them.
I know not all of them stay, but I’m hopeful that they will find the workout that they love, that they find joy and moving their body.
And so maybe I’ll just talk about that. So I teach this beautiful format. It’s called Warrior Rhythm, and it’s a little bit of yoga. It’s A little bit of Pilates, a little cardio, little weight training, and it’s all done to music.
So it’s done to like kind of this eight count of the music. So it’s, it kind of makes yoga like dance.
And it’s fun. It’s, you know, our, our tagline is flex.
What is it? Flex, flow, focus. And I’m not like promoting any of this workout, but it’s great because I just teach it in a gym. So it’s not like I’m selling you my workout.
But anyway, just talking to you about how I think I notice people are kind of coming in, they’re wanting to change, they’re wanting to get healthier and I think that’s a good thing.
But I think we don’t think about what consistency really looks like in reality.
We think about like the perfectionism that a lot of us have towards goal change, right. That we have to keep our streak, quote, unquote. I. There’s like all these horrible fitness challenges that just take the joy out of movement that make me so mad.
Like 75 days of hard where you’re supposed to essentially beat up your body to quote unquote, get fit. And a lot of people don’t follow through on them because they’re awful for you.
For a lot of people who might be deconditioned, they’re not. They haven’t been working out and then they go into an intense workout program. Please don’t do that to yourself.
So, you know, with some of my therapist clients, I talk to them about gentle movement and about incorporating really simple forms of movement like yoga nidra and that’s more just like really focus on breathing, yin yoga and maybe you’re not a yogi.
How about just walking? Like legitimate walking is great exercise. And some people are like, you know, I really like walking with a friend or you know, walking my dog. Great.
Just do more of what is working. So we do know from Reese, from the exercise research, that 10 minute exercise, if we add that up to like a 30 minute per day, that does help, right?
That we’re going to get mental health benefits from that. So I just encourage you if you’re kind of in yourself, getting in these winter doldrums that you can start to think about gentle movement, but as well thinking about what you might need to make a change in 2025.
So I’m just going to recap my what’s keeping you back from change series that I talked about this month. So on episode 49 I talked about fear.
So I Think fear is huge for therapists because we’re really fearful, more so about hurting our clients, about doing the quote unquote wrong thing and closing our practice or in leaving wherever we’re working as a therapist.
And that’s really the journey that I help therapists on. I help them close a practice or I help them leave.
And I think the fear is that number one, I don’t know what I’m going to do next. And that’s fear inducing because I have no idea what it is.
I’m afraid of what’s going to happen to my clients, how they’ll react, letting them down. I feel like it’s more around the letting them down that therapists get more hung up on in what keeps them stuck in making the change they need to make.
So I think that was important. So go back and listen to 49 if you want to kind of get some more kind of tips on how to work through that fear.
And so I talked about like not having options was one of them and the fear of letting them down was another one. And then 50. So you’re tired af you’re tired.
So it’s really hard when you’re in depletion. So a lot of people I work with are really, they’re past end stage burnout. They have likely really cut down their workload and they’re like, I not working a lot and still I can’t work a lot.
Yeah, because you’re an end stage burnout and that’s what happens. We have a reduced capacity to be able to do the work.
And so find therapists, they’re, they’re getting really busy. Right. They try to do all these things. Maybe they join coaching programs or do like a million trainings trying to figure out like, okay, maybe it’s going to be intensives or doing groups or doing something else other than just the one to one model.
And I think it’s great to try what you can do to change your practice. However, we don’t look at like the actual thing you need to do when you’re really tired is rest and be an expert on rest.
I think we go into panic mode. I think the fear, like fear of like I can’t do this anymore and what the hell do I do?
Drives us to that chronic depletion. And then it’s really hard to get out of that cycle. So I talked a little bit about the holidays and, and just reflections because it was during that time.
And so being an expert on rest, giving yourself permission to stop and reevaluate what’s depleting you. That’s a lot of the work that I do with therapists and also creating space for things that used to make you have some joy in your life.
I think a lot of times we are really good about talking to our clients about that, but we don’t often let that be available to ourselves.
So that was 50. Yeah, opposite 50. 51 is ******* stories.
So really I, I find that we all have dysfunctional thinking, right? That’s just humanity. That’s what we do as humans. I think as therapists, we, you know, kind of get into this pattern where we think we have it under control more than we do and that we don’t have to do, see, like the CBT kind of thought frames on ourselves or write in our journal to just kind of get the garbage out.
We have to do all of those things as well, especially if we’re therapists, because we’re constantly taking all of these depleting experiences, emotions, images, nervous system states into our nervous system.
Of course that is going to change our psyche. Of course that’s going to change our emotional experience.
And it’s likely going to mean that we talk more negatively to ourselves unless we actively work on it. And, you know, just the impact of trauma, you know, like the exposure to trauma over, like for me, decades now, right.
So I’ve been exposed to other people’s trauma for decades. That has changed my psyche. That has changed the way I move through the world.
My own emotional experience is different and I try to fight that still. It’s. I’m coming up on two years of not doing therapy, which is crazy to me, but still I find that my emotional experiences, I feel more fragile.
And part of me hates that part. You know, it’s like, like I used to see myself as really strong in some ways. And I’m really trying to listen to that vulnerable part and what it’s trying to tell me.
And that’s scary to do so. But I talk a lot about that in, in that episode, in episode 51. Some of that is, is really looking at like how to neutralize our negative self talk and manage unrealistic expectations.
So a lot of times I just ask my clients, how can it be easy? How can you be kinder to yourself? How can you give yourself a break?
Because oftentimes we’re expecting perfection.
We don’t say it out loud, but that’s the expectation we have of ourselves to show up as therapists, to hold the space, to be able to go home, make a dinner and Keep going when we’re not able to do it.
Yeah. So really, 51, I feel like, is really, really important. It’s really important because I think until you get a hold of a hand, more of a handle on the mind drama that comes up from burnout and really from the work.
Right. From vicarious trauma and the moral injury and all the things I talk about on this podcast, it influences the way we think. And if we don’t recognize that. That we’re different now, then it’s really tough.
It’s really tough to feel like, okay, I could make this change. And sometimes all of this, like, hearing all this is overwhelming, but it’s also like, giving.
It’s kind of calling out what I was feeling and what a lot of my clients feel, because it’s isolating to feel like there’s just. It’s so overwhelming. I have no idea where to start.
I have no idea how to do this change.
So I think going through this series mindfully and understanding. Yeah, like, it makes sense. I’m in fear. I’ve been conditioned to kind of keep going, to always show up for my clients, always show up at home in the same way.
Well, that a lot of that is social conditioning that we need to break down and dismantle. So I would have you look at that. I referenced a couple other things, so you can grab that on my website@doctor Jen Blanchat.com.
i’ll link it in the show notes as well. Yeah, so that’s an overview of the series. And I think what it’s leading up to, kind of talk to you guys about is what do you need in 2025?
So if you’ve been holding on to ******* stories to fear being tired, how can we start to get you closer to the change that you need to make? Maybe that’s closing your practice.
Maybe that’s leaving your job. Maybe that’s completely rewriting how you’re showing up, as in the work. As a therapist, if you want to stay. I think part of it is really trying to really nail down these things.
So I did an audit and looking at what I needed in 2025, I know I need more rest. I need to really focus on my sleep, take fewer reports on.
So I took. You know, I have a contract job. I work for schools. I talk about that a lot. You know, I took on a second contract this year because I was kind of fearful because every year they post my position because I’m contract.
I’m not an employee. You know, part of me was thinking of being an employee this year. I still think I’m unemployable in some ways after working for myself for 10 years.
But I’m not against necessarily taking a job. I’m not against taking a job if it’s the circumstances are right. I think I’m committed to this podcast and seeing where it goes.
So I’m committed to doing a hundred episodes. That’s the promise that I told myself that I would do. And at 52, I’m more than halfway there, which is exciting. And things are coming out of this.
You know, I’ve got clients and I feel like I’m doing really good work. So that feels awesome.
But I want you to think about what do you need?
If we think about the depleting experiences, if you’re really tired, if you’re experiencing fear, if it feels like there’s no space for you, how do you start to really look at during the week?
I would have you guys look at.
I use the full focus Planner, like intermittently. Sometimes I use it really well and sometimes I don’t. But they actually have let me pull it up so they have this.
No, maybe they don’t even have it anymore.
Let me see. Anyway, they had this weekly planner. So in the full focus Planner, they have like a. A goals portion, a monthly planner, like a weekly planner. But it just has like the week and it would have you sketch out your ideal week.
And I think that helps us really plug in the things that we need to have in our week to really think about. Do I have enough renewing experiences based on how much I might be depleted in the week?
So I might have you just sketch out a week and look at like label the clients in there and just put maybe a plus or a minus into depletion or renewal and just it gives you a lot of illumination for where you feel really drained in your week.
And maybe what you might need to put in, like today I’m going to go play tennis. That’s a plus mark.
I did some weight training. That’s a plus mark as well.
And we don’t think about how depleting it can be to be home, right? It can. Over the course of this week, while my kids are home, there’s lots of renewing experiences I have with them.
But yesterday was a depleting day.
So going through thinking of home life, where is renewal depletion and where can I start to really see where are those sticky points in my week, Whether it be clients, whether it be home life, because we just have a quotient of our ability to give and one that is used up, it is gone.
So it doesn’t matter if it’s home life, doesn’t matter if it’s clinical work. We just have a certain amount of caring that we’re able to do. So I’d have you look through that and see what information that’s giving you, and maybe you think about incorporating some more habits this year.
I love James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits. So, you know, he really talks about building the habits. So if I want to be, for example, a weightlifter, what are the behaviors that a weightlifter does?
So for me, my habits are going to be lifting twice a week is going to be something I want to focus on in 2025. Not that I want to, you know, lose 10 pounds or whatever it is, or I want to be a walker.
So I’m going to walk three times a week. And that’s my general sketch of what I want to put into my life. I like to think of what I’m putting in versus taking out and for nutrition as well.
Right. Like what can. What nutrition can I put in versus taking out? So think through what you can put in. And sometimes that means you have to take something out because you have your schedule still full, but just thinking through kind of that ideal week.
So I’ll reference the full focus planner as well as atomic habits and just thinking of making changes in your life and what you need to do.
So I just have you think about, you know, that what. What do you really need in 2025 if you’re struggling with the decision to make some changes in your career, to close your practice, to do something else, whatever that is, to get out of burnout, Think through what it is for yourself.
I just want to add a personal note. So I.
I think I’m so passionate about therapists and burnout because I felt so alone in it. And I never want another therapist to feel that way, to feel really trapped in your practice.
Like you’re constantly giving and no one sees you.
No one sees your labor, your heart. It’s almost like there’s a lot of times, like, not this soft place to fall. I feel like many of my therapist clients have maybe a supportive partner or someone in their lives they can lean on.
But the weight of what the work costs us, I think, causes us not to feel seen. Right? It causes us not to feel like we have space to do anything else, to be anything else, and that our identity as a therapist is who we are and that this is our.
This is what we’ve chosen for ourselves.
And that because we’ve chosen this work, that means that we don’t have experiences we want to have. We aren’t able to have the joy we want to have in our lives because we do this work.
We’re not able to be financially supported because we have to. We’ve chosen to do this work. And I just know you can’t go on living that way, that taking that on for yourself comes at a cost.
If you need motivation, you can borrow my nervous system to start making these changes, to start finding more rest for yourself and perhaps even think about making the decision in 2025 to leave therapy to give yourself a true break, to close your practice, to make the big shifts you need to make in your life, to really feel like you can walk through the world the way you want to, not the way you think you’re supposed to.
All right, my friends, I have a lot go of great things coming in January. So I have Marvin Verghese, who is the host of the Selling the Couch podcast. I’m also going to be on that podcast the first week of January.
So I’m very excited about that collaboration.
And then I’m just going to have a series on closing your practice. I don’t think I’ve ever really had a series on closing your practice. And I’m gonna have a burnout series as well.
I. One of my more popular episodes was why is there. Why is therapist burnout different? Because I think when I was in full burnout, I was kind of googling stuff a lot and.
Cause I’m just like, is what does this feel like? What does this look like? And so I think giving some resources there and kind of calling out what therapists are experiencing, I want to kind of flesh that out more in like a series possibly in February.
My career series is also really popular. That might come more closer to the summer. And I also hope to have some more therapist stories because you love them. So I’m going to do that as well.
Yeah. So that’s what I have for you today. If you need support in closing a practice. I’m really focusing more for my therapy client, not my. About my therapy clients, my clients who are therapists.
Because I don’t do therapy in 2025, I’m going to focus more on practice closure. So that might look like a few different things. I have some things in the hopper, but I am going to be focusing on really, you know, you need to close your practice and you need some help to do that.
And so I’m going to help you walk through those steps. I’m developing a free resource on that now that I hope to get out soon. But before that time, you can just send me an email.
So I’m info@doctorjenblanchett.com and if you’d like to get on a consult call, I’d do that. Or if you just want to say hi, we can do that, too. Okay. I’ll drop my email in the show notes.
So if that’s something you want to work out, work on in the new year, let’s do it. Okay. Have a good one.
