Speaker 1 00:00:02 Hi everyone. Welcome to the TBI Therapist podcast. I’m your host, Dr. Jen Blin shot, where we explore the heart of brain injury. Hi Li, welcome to the TBI Therapist podcast. It’s so great to have you.
Speaker 2 00:00:25 Well, thank you very much for having me. It’s a pleasure to be part of this project.
Speaker 1 00:00:29 I’m excited that you’re joining us all the way from Thailand.
Speaker 2 00:00:33 Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Yeah, it’s, it’s a pleasure to be here. I’m glad we were able to work out the time. It’s been a crazy journey, but it’s always good to kind of be in touch with, uh, the state’s, the, my, my my state’s side of life from wherever I am in the world.
Speaker 1 00:00:46 Yes, Yes. What time is it there now?
Speaker 2 00:00:49 Uh, right now it is eight 30 in the evening.
Speaker 1 00:00:54 Wow. And it’s in the morning. Yeah, it’s almost 10 o’clock here. Yeah. Cool. I love that. We can talk half a rolled away and just learn more about brain injury. So I’m gonna just read your introduction and then let you tell your story and then we’ll, we’ll dive into it. Sound good?
Speaker 2 00:01:12 That sounds wonderful.
Speaker 1 00:01:13 Okay. So Leton Canlis is an author, educator, inspirational storyteller and brain injury survivor. And as graduate thesis project and storytelling let researched, composed and performed, Who am I again? A storytelling piece that has been shared throughout the US and is praised for its candidly honest language. Most recently let published the, his acclaimed book, Who Am I Now Using storytelling to accept and appreciate self-identity After tbi, he is currently studying the best way to use storytelling as a tool in recovery with rehabilitation academics in New Zealand and Australia. With that, let, I will hand it to you to tell us more about your story.
Speaker 2 00:02:06 All right, Well, thanks. Uh, yeah, so I was thinking about how to kind of, how I, how I think about my own story and I’ve, I realize I kind of have it split into three big chunks of recovery because recovery is as, as you know, and I’m sure a lot of the listeners know, it’s a never ending process. Um, but I, the way, the way I kind of have it framed off in my own mind is for my own organization in my own head, is I view it in the first chunk being that immediate recovery. And this is the part of the recovery that I talk about in my storytelling piece. Who am I again? Where I, Cause I remember that process of being in the hospital. I remember all that joy coming from all the people around me of, of being alive. And that, that excitement of learning, learning that I am alive.
Speaker 2 00:02:59 But then I remember the difficulties and just the pain of discovering what being alive really means. I remember having to do things like relearning how to walk and I remember feeling all this, this shame and just all this kind of anger toward myself at not being able to do the things that I knew I should know how to do. Like I said, I had to, I remember having to relearn how to eat again, chew and swallow. And they had to make sure that I swallowed correctly and relearn how to walk. Um, some things like, go to the bathroom, How do you do that again? And these are things that they came back faster than when I was a child. But at the same time, just that having to go through that whole process was devastatingly embarrassing and frustrating at how hard it was at how difficult it was.
Speaker 2 00:04:01 But I was able to do that and I had a lot of support. And that, that’s one thing that I feel very, very fortunate in my own recovery process is I had this amazing group of people around me supporting me. They were, they were my parents. We had a great, uh, crew of nurses and hospital staff, and I had friends. And coming from a small town in Pennsylvania, it’s one of those things, everybody knows everybody. So a lot of people from the small town kind of gathered around my family and really helped kinda lift my family up and really showed support to my family during this time. And that was wonderful. And that happened while I was in the hospital. But then while you’re still in early recovery, you leave the hospital and what, whatever people say this is still part of early recovery because they, they say the maximum recovery time is the first year and a half to two years. And I actually think it’s potentially longer than that. But
Speaker 1 00:05:02 That’s, that’s interesting.
Speaker 2 00:05:04 Yeah. That’s,
Speaker 1 00:05:05 Yeah. Say more about that.
Speaker 2 00:05:07 Well, I think that people continue to recover for your whole life. That there is no cutoff time of after this point, this line and the timeline, you will not get better cuz there, there are many instances of people suddenly regaining massive amount, massive numbers of skills, 3, 4, 5 years into recovery. It’s not common. It doesn’t happen as much. Like there’s a time when it’s more likely to happen. But to set that, to set that as some artificial deadline, I think hinders other people who are going through the recovery process because they say, Well, I passed two years, I’m not gonna get any better. This is how I am for the rest of my life. And that’s just not true. I’m, I’m now, uh, what is it? I’m now 22 years into my recovery and I still feel steps where I still feel changes happening in me as I mature and as I, as I learn how to deal with things that are hang ons from my time after the, after my, uh, my brain injury.
Speaker 2 00:06:20 So, but, but unfortunately, a lot of people don’t recognize that a lot of people, they see you come outta the hospital and think, Okay, you’re better now. And that’s what I remember being more difficult than any of the challenges I had to face in the hospital, was learning how to interact with, with all these friends and all these people who loved me and supported me and had shown so much care and so much, so much, uh, ways of uplifting and providing help to my family and to me during, during my initial stages, so many people just didn’t understand that this was a long term, long term lifetime healing process. And that just because I’m outta the hospital, it doesn’t mean that I’m back to the way I was. And a lot of people didn’t recognize, had had trouble recognizing who I was now. And that’s given with added difficulty because at the same time, because you have all these changes that happen in a, in a snap with a brain injury mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 00:07:19 <affirmative>,
Speaker 2 00:07:20 You have all these changes in yourself. So you are trying to figure out who you are. Now, a as a survivor, a survivor, you’re trying to figure out who, who am I now? And at the same time, you have the people on the outside saying, You’re supposed to be like this. You’re supposed to be like you used to be.
Speaker 1 00:07:36 Mm-hmm. <affirmative>,
Speaker 2 00:07:38 But you’re not like you used to be and you’re having, so is this weird conflict. And I think that’s one of the things that causes the problems of identity that so often arise in recovery. And that’s one, and that’s one of the issues I really address in my performance piece. Who am I again? Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Cause it’s asking that question that comes up time and time again in instances of recovery after brain injury. So the,
Speaker 1 00:08:02 Can I read you, can I read you that, that part that I talked to you about in the pre-interview?
Speaker 2 00:08:08 Yeah, yeah, certainly.
Speaker 1 00:08:09 Yeah. So I read in that, I think it was that performance, and this is, I’m reading from your, your blog here being told by,
Speaker 2 00:08:17 I should actually, I should jump, I’m sorry. That actually wast a performance that, that was just a speech I gave. That was something I had the performance. And then I have other speeches that I give as well. So this was, that was something difference. So I just wanna kind of clarify
Speaker 1 00:08:28 That. No worries. Yeah. Okay. So it was from a speech, so being told by people you love and trust that you are not like you
Speaker 2 00:08:38 Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Yeah. That, and I, I remember, I, I remember very, a few very specific instances of friends telling me that. And they weren’t, they weren’t trying to be mean, they weren’t trying to be hurtful. They were trying to helpful, they were trying to say, Dude, you’re just, you’re, you’re not, you’re not you. And so I had to play it off like, Oh, well I, I’m trying to figure this out. Like, thanks for telling me like I had to play it cool. But those words dig inside you. Mm. And it’s not, it’s, they cut, but then they also kind of fester where they cut. They, they stay inside and kind of keep burrowing around trying to find their way out. And so, um, so this was all happening during that first chunk of time that I call my early recovery.
Speaker 1 00:09:30 So you would fa that, how many years would you say that was just curious about your online? I would,
Speaker 2 00:09:36 Um, I would say that’s probably the first year of my recovery process.
Speaker 1 00:09:45 Okay.
Speaker 2 00:09:46 Um, there was the time, it was, it was my time cuz when my accident happened, I was still in high school and it was my time going back to high school and going through the process of finishing, finishing high school. And I did graduate on time because I had, again, enormous support from the school and the community. So maybe the first year and a half, cuz then I began university as a part-time student kind of easing into the local university just to try it out and see how I did. Um, but, but what I remember a moment that really changed me during that first time was at my high school graduation, I was beating myself up to no end. And I talked about this again in my storytelling piece, but I was beating myself up because I, I was, I had no idea what my next steps were.
Speaker 2 00:10:35 It’s like, yay, I made it. But I felt like I had babied through so that I could graduate and say, Oh, look at this boy. He made it look how well he did. And I was, I was really being self, I was pitying myself. I was very stuck on myself. Oh, it’s all, it’s so sad for me. So sad for me. But then, uh, they called another, another name. I’m not gonna say his name for a privacy’s sake Sure. But it’s another boy in my class who was disabled and he had never been out of a wheelchair. I had never seen him. He, he’s never been able to walk. He’s, I, I, I was never close with him, but he’s, one of the people in the school had received enormous amounts of schooling all through his life. And he was going across the stage and he was graduating too. And when he got, took his diploma and was graduating the entire auditorium of all the people there graduating, we were all told to respectfully hold to our applause. But when he made it across that stage mm-hmm. <affirmative>, everyone jumped up and cheered, just tore down the walls of that place, just cheering him on. And he had so much joy on his face. I remember just this smile that just glowed throughout the entire, it just filled the entire, uh, the entire, it was Haws auditorium. Mm. And that changed me seeing that.
Speaker 1 00:11:56 Mm, I have chose, like, as you des describe it a little bit, Oh, you know, about that moment. So tell me what you were, what was going on in your mind with regard to that?
Speaker 2 00:12:05 Well, the biggest thing that went through my mind was we all have difficulties.
Speaker 1 00:12:10 Mm.
Speaker 2 00:12:12 And sometimes the more parents, sometimes they’re more sudden. Sometimes you have ’em at, you have ’em at different stages in your life. But the thought, the thought to me was I had these difficulties thrown on me. And it’s, it’s a huge heap of difficulties kind of piled onto my back that it’s gonna take a long time to work through. And it’s a lot, a lot to work through. It’s not easy, but at the same time I’m alive. And the, and there’s all these other, and other people have different difficulties. So that was a big change for me. Just kinda that realization. Yeah, you hit this one patch of bum luck, but you have, in a lot of ways, you’re more fortunate than other people, so figure it, figure it out.
Speaker 1 00:12:57 So maybe was part of it, like seeing him go across the stage and like overcoming a physical disability or something that’s more visible. Cause oftentimes the brain injury, we talk about the invisible injury. Right? So was it, was it, it was almost like a tangible, you could see a tangible example of him overcoming being able to not being able to walk, for example.
Speaker 2 00:13:23 That’s a good question. I think, I think it was because it, it wasn’t just being able to, uh, walk. Like he, he couldn’t speak, he couldn’t speak clearly, but he still communicated, he still found ways to communicate. I think it was seeing his determination and his own personal pride and reaching this benchmark for me, I, I had reached this benchmark and I felt shame. Okay. Because other people were proud that I had reached this benchmark. I’m like, But
Speaker 1 00:13:59 You didn’t feel that.
Speaker 2 00:14:01 Yeah. I, I didn’t, I didn’t feel pride at all, personal pride. But when I saw him go across the stage and have such personal pride at reaching that, that was uplifting, I kind of a thought of, yes, I should be proud. I’ve been carrying this burden. I made it across, everyone has their own burden. This is mine. But I succeeded in reaching this milestone. So that’s, I think how works with me.
Speaker 1 00:14:27 Yeah. Well, I, and I don’t know if you shared this at the beginning, but your injury occurred in your senior year or your junior year of high
Speaker 2 00:14:33 School? My senior year of high school.
Speaker 1 00:14:35 Your senior year of high school. So you, at the beginning of that. Yeah. And you completed your degree, you graduated on time.
Speaker 2 00:14:40 Yes, yes I did.
Speaker 1 00:14:41 Right. Yeah. So, so it’s almost like a lot of times in brain injury I hear, you know, Well, I should have because I normally would’ve graduated. So yeah, that was a goal I had. But it’s, it’s not, it was like a given before. And now it, it doesn’t seem like a goal. You work like you should have had to work. You know what I’m saying? Like, you, you needed to work hard to that. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 00:15:05 I think, I think that’s a really good way to put putting it. And I had, I never really thought of it like that before, but that, that makes perfect sense. I had, I had always explained, of course, I’m gonna graduate. I was not at the top of my class, but in the upper, the upper part of my class, I was a moderately good student. I was active. Everyone, everyone knew I was gonna graduate. Of course I’m gonna graduate. And I didn’t see it as a challenge. And I didn’t accept it as a challenge. When it became a challenge, I guess I still saw it as a given as opposed to this is something now I have to really work for.
Speaker 1 00:15:40 Right. Cause my old self could have done that without a problem. Right.
Speaker 2 00:15:46 Yeah. That’s really, that, that’s a really good way of putting it. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:15:51 So,
Speaker 2 00:15:52 So, so that, that’s kind of the first, the first chunk of my time. And that was, like I said, about 20 years ago. Mm.
Speaker 2 00:16:00 That, that was that time. And then after that time, I guess after I graduated high school, I, I had this fantasy in my mind, now things are gonna be better. Now I’m just gonna continue on with my life as I did before. Like, I reached that goal. And I’m gonna continue on as I did before. But again, as we, as we said before, that’s not the case. This recovery continues to progress. So as I went into year 2, 3, 4, 5, I was lost. And I had this chunk where I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. I didn’t know I, I had had all these plans mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I was going to go to school to study theater and do all these other things, but I didn’t feel comfortable in any of my old roles. And I wasn’t, I I didn’t have the same drive and I didn’t have the same passion and I didn’t have, I didn’t feel like I had the same skills.
Speaker 2 00:16:58 And so I began just kind of falling out of them feeling like I should go in that direction, but not really committing myself fully. And it went through this, uh, I went through a really hard time where I was really lost and actually ended up dropping out. I started university but then dropped outta university for about a year and a half. Just cause I, I had no direction. And I said that I, I was taking that time saying like, Oh yeah, well, I’m gonna, I’m looking for direction. But I wasn’t really searching hard enough. I I was just kind of lazing through life, working at working third shift at a gas station. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> getting by, but not happy. Um, and as this was going on, I had a moment when I had, I had, I, I should, I should do some background.
Speaker 2 00:17:48 I had dabbled the art of storytelling before all this had happened. At, at a, as a summer job. I worked at a local amusement park and I was the head storyteller. Asked the theater company at the amusement park. And we would tell stories for kids and they’d throw on costumes and act and have, have little sword battles with foam swords and run around. And we would tell in these terrible British accents, <laugh> these bad stories about dragons and goblins. And it is a wonderful, it was a wonderful job, but I always saw it as this thing for kids. Okay. Yeah. But I just happened to see, one day I was walking down the street, the thoughts of what am I gonna do with my life on my mind? And I saw at the local theater, at the local theater company, this storyteller, j Callahan, j Callahan, master storyteller, coming to the theater.
Speaker 2 00:18:39 Well, I was curious. I’m like, What, what’s this a master storyteller, someone who does this professionally? I wanna see what this is. And my parents, I actually saw it to, and they, and we all went to see the show together. And I still had no idea what to expect all the way through. I was expecting like, some stories for kids, something fun. Cause it was still in my mind as storytelling is this thing for children. But then, uh, uh, Mr. Callahan gets up and he tells this story called Pouring the Son about the story of an immigrant woman from Russia who moved to the United States as a child. And, uh, and he tells a story from her perspective on her 80th birthday, telling the story to her grandchildren. And he’s telling the story and there’s, there’s excite, there’s laughter, there’s drama. But at the very beginning of the story, he explains how she was very good at calming horses. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> and how she could just cool,
Speaker 3 00:19:35 Cool.
Speaker 2 00:19:36 And a horse, if it was going wild, would cool, cool. Calm down. So he’s telling this story and he’s going through, like I said, there’s, um, she, she loses a son in a car accident. She loses a husband at a steel mining, ac a steel processing accident. Uh, she has another son. She, this whole hu story of a life, it’s beautiful. But then there’s, uh, there’s the scene near the end of the, of the, of the performance. There’s a scene where there’s a strike happening at the local seal processing plant. And at the strike there’s a lot of mountain police officers, and there’s a little girl there bringing, uh, bag lunch to her brother who’s on, who’s on the picket lines. And the little girl steps in front of one of the horses. One of the horses, which are already, their eyes are wide as they’re darting around, seeing all, all the excitement and they’re nervous. And this little girl steps in one of the horses and the horse rears up. And then, uh, o Callahan as a storyteller, he just goes in,
Speaker 3 00:20:38 Who, who,
Speaker 2 00:20:43 Who? And calms the horse.
Speaker 3 00:20:44 Mm.
Speaker 2 00:20:46 And the theater, it was dead silent, but as one, everyone in theater breathed in <laugh>. And that was the moment. I, I had never, I had never before or since experienced a moment in any sort of performance like that. But that was the moment I knew I had to become a storyteller. Yeah. And amazing. So, so that was a moment that changed. But then what was really fortunate, even more fortunate after that, I remembered when I was a child, uh, and I should say I knew I wanted to be a storyteller. Cause I knew I had this story about brain injury. And I even told my parents at the time, I, I gotta tell my story about brain injury, but I don’t know how to do that. And I remembered that when I was a child, the local librarian was a storyteller. And I remember that he would, uh, tell stories at the schools.
Speaker 2 00:21:38 And again, it was kids’ stories, but I thought maybe he knows something about this. So I went up to the, I went to the library the next day and, uh, he, he was standing at the front desk and I walk away, say, Hey, how, uh, my name’s Leton. I don’t know if you remember. Yeah, yeah. Let, let can, Right? Yeah. Um, you used to, uh, tell me stories when I was a a kid. Yeah. I remember that. Your parents, your, your parents live up by the campus. Yeah. Yeah. I was wondering, I kinda wanna be a storyteller now. Could you gimme some advice?
Speaker 2 00:22:09 And there was this moment where, I swear I felt like the entire world move just a little bit. Like the whole world changed. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, because, uh, Hal’s eyes got really big energy, just seemed to shoot out of all the whiskers of his beard. And he turned to the other librarian there. He says, Ruth, you have the front desk, Let come with me. And he took me up, he took me upstairs to the library and he sat me down for like an hour and a half. He just talked to me about all the work and all the passion and all the power and all the beauty and all the difficulties and all the, how often it’s overlooked. The process of storytelling. And he and the, the other, the other librarian there, Karen, Karen Roelle, they became two amazing mentors. As I, as I decided that I wanna be a storyteller.
Speaker 2 00:23:06 Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And it was, I, I was off, I had to become a storyteller. It was following that journey. And then one last story about this section of my life that really kind of shifted things. I was, uh, several months later I was trying my art hand at storytelling. And I was working on one of the first stories I was actually gonna perform as a storyteller. And at the time I used to write out all my stories word for word, and memorize the scripts and really work with it. And I was at this truck stop, uh, it’s uh, late night truck stop, cigarette smoke in the air, the bottomless cup of coffee in front of me where I would get my artistic inspiration. I was working on a story. I was working on a story. It was 11 midnight, 1230, some, some late hour.
Speaker 1 00:23:50 It does seem like a scene out of a movie. You know,
Speaker 2 00:23:53 It felt like a scene outta the movie. What looked strange though, it was almost like out of a fairytale because this random trucker walks up to my what? Walks up to my table. What working on there son, <laugh>. Uh, well I’m trying to write a storyteller a story. Cuz see, I’m, I’m trying to be a storyteller and I wanna write a storyteller. I’m gonna share storytelling. Huh. You ever hear a Jonesboro, Tennessee? They got a, they got a, uh, they got a festival down there where all they do is storytelling. Fact, there’s a school down there in, in Johnson City, Tennessee where you can go and get a master’s degree in storytelling.
Speaker 1 00:24:30 I’ve been there. Wow.
Speaker 2 00:24:31 You you’ve been Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:24:33 Johnson City. Yes. It’s in the middle of nowhere.
Speaker 2 00:24:35 <laugh> It is. And this random trucker who I didn’t say a word to, he walked up, told me about this, walked away the next day I looked it up and about a year and a half later, I was, uh, I was studying for my master’s degree in storytelling.
Speaker 1 00:24:49 Wow. Talk about serendipity.
Speaker 2 00:24:51 It was, it, it’s one, one of the moments of serendipity I call in my life. I, yeah. I have, I have a story I tell sometimes about the seven moments of serendipity in my life. And that’s definitely
Speaker 1 00:25:00 One of them. I think that’s like another conversation. I’d love it.
Speaker 2 00:25:03 <laugh>. So, um, again, so I, I end up going to, uh, I end up going for my graduate degree in storytelling. And the entire time I know I wanna tell this story about my brain injury, I finally feel I have a path. Now I feel like I have a direction in my life. I wanna tell the story about my brain injury. And, uh, it was during my second year at university, I should say, at the university, one of the requirements for graduation is that you need to do a storytelling master’s thesis. You, um, either need to write a grand paper or do some research, or you need to compose, create your own story about some unique subject and present it in a public presentation. So from the beginning, I knew I wanted to do a story about brain injury, but I had no idea what that meant or how to do that.
Speaker 1 00:25:52 Right.
Speaker 2 00:25:53 So the beginning of my second year at the university, uh, this, uh, uh, artist and residence came to the area. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, uh, a Ms. Judith Black. And, and, uh, as part of the graduate program, we had some time where we could speak with her after her performance. And after we saw her performance, we could just have a little talk with her, ask some questions, share some in, share some, share some thoughts. And on a whim, I shared a thought about, about my time at recovering from brain injury. I said, Yeah, I wanna do this story about brain injury. And I remember this time when I was just really depressed and I felt like something came in through the window and kinda lifted me up again. It was just a, it’s just a short moment. And I explained, I expressed this to her conversation, moved on, I forgot about it.
Speaker 2 00:26:43 Went back home and the thought was in my mind. Cause I had less than a year to figure out this story that I wanna share for my master’s, for my graduate thesis. And, uh, the next day I get a phone call. Apparently, uh, Ms. Flack, she was in the grocery store right after we had had our conversation. And she started speaking to the man in, in front of her in line. And they were just chatting back and forth. Turns out he was the director at the Crumley House, Brain Injury Rehabilitation and Living Center located Right, right down the road. And she, uh, she said, Oh, well, I, I just met someone who had brain injury and is trying to learn more about it. Maybe we can come and share some performances. And that was another moment of serendipity where it was just, she heard my conversation, she met him, she called me the next day.
Speaker 2 00:27:35 And the day after that we were at the crumbly house and began this relationship. Yeah. And I began this relationship where I began to speak with the residents. And the, the moment I really wanna point out that really changed a lot for me was when I was talking with some of the residents and there was, uh, one resident, I, I remember, I won’t give his name, but one resident I mentioned, I shared a story that I thought no one, I had told other people before. I had like other people who were not brain injury survivors, friends, family. I had just kinda mentioned the story before and said, Oh, okay, okay. But I told this story and there was one resident, he looked up and said, Yeah, I know what you mean. That’s kinda like, and he told me his story.
Speaker 2 00:28:24 And that unlocked this amazing wall I had in my mind because for so long I had seen the story about brain injury as my story about brain injury. Right. I was doing research for my graduate thesis project, but when he said that, it occurred to me in a whole new way. We all have that story. And that’s what I think is so important. And that’s one reason I’m such an advocate for using storytelling mm-hmm. <affirmative> in recovery from brain injury, is that we all have that story of brain injury. And it’s, it’s, uh, we, there’s a saying in storytelling sometimes we’re all living the same story. It’s just the details that are different. Mm.
Speaker 1 00:29:15 I like that.
Speaker 2 00:29:17 I think that’s such, it’s such a truth. It’s such a truth that we all go through the same path in some way, but all the details of that path are different along the way. And so when he opened that up to me, it, it, it opened my mind and I realized I wanted to, I wanted to learn the stories of all these other survivors so I can really make the story, not just about my story about recovery, but what a story about recovery is.
Speaker 1 00:29:43 Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So like the collective story almost of like a survivor story.
Speaker 2 00:29:49 Exactly.
Speaker 1 00:29:50 Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:29:51 And that’s why one reason I think your project, what you’re doing with this podcast is such an important, is such an important thing. And I, I, I really applaud you for putting this together. Thank
Speaker 1 00:29:59 You. Just
Speaker 2 00:30:00 Because it’s, it’s an opportunity for so many people to share a story that we all know, but we don’t know that other people know it.
Speaker 1 00:30:08 Right.
Speaker 2 00:30:10 Mm. Because when I heard that other people have the same story, and when I, when I heard this, this, uh, this resident at the Crumley House say, I, I know what you mean. It’s kind of like I realize that all these stories I had been holding on kind of selfishly, kind of shamefully cuz I thought Yeah. It was like a shameful sort of selfishness. Cause I thought, these are my stories, this is what happened to me. But I, but suddenly I was able to let go of them mm-hmm. <affirmative> and see that this is what, this is a story that happens to millions of people.
Speaker 1 00:30:47 Right. And I think like, there’s so much vulnerability in sharing your story, you know, so I can understand why you wanna hold, you know, like having that come out is, is part, it’s like part of you you’re putting out to the world and it’s like, here it is. I’m being vulnerable for everyone to see.
Speaker 2 00:31:09 Yeah. And, and, but I think at the same time, while, while it’s so vulnerable at the same time it opens, it opens you up to so much more, so much more healing when you can see that, you can see other people have gone through this story before.
Speaker 1 00:31:25 Yeah. And,
Speaker 2 00:31:26 And also I, I have also found one of the greatest joys and the greatest, i, I make the greatest gains in my own recovery when I see that my story is able to help other people.
Speaker 1 00:31:38 Right.
Speaker 2 00:31:40 When, And, and that’s another reason why I think it’s so important to share your story is cuz when you’re able to help other people through that, through, through your story, it helps you make some real progress in kind of coming to appreciate this your self-identity
Speaker 1 00:31:59 Right
Speaker 2 00:32:00 After, after brain injury. Mm. So go ahead.
Speaker 1 00:32:06 Yeah. So I was just curious if you wanna share with folks how they can get their story out, How they can share what’s inside of them.
Speaker 2 00:32:17 That’s a really good question. That’s actually something I’m, uh, doing some research now, kind of starting to look at the best ways to do that. Like what are some real practical hands on steps. Um, I do have a book that kind of talks about the philosophy behind sharing your story called who Am I? Who am I now that you can get on amazon.com and it’ll be on my website, which should be up by the time this podcast is released.
Speaker 1 00:32:43 Okay. And I’ll link that in the show notes so you know, people can
Speaker 2 00:32:46 Look.com.
Speaker 1 00:32:47 Yeah. Yeah. So I’ll link all that stuff so people can look at the show notes and, and go right to it.
Speaker 2 00:32:52 But I think a really good way is talk to people. And that’s what I think is so very important. Um, don’t be a, i I won’t say don’t be afraid because sharing your story is a sort of vulnerability is making yourself vulnerable and it takes a lot of courage to share it. But when you find a safe place to share that story
Speaker 1 00:33:19 Mm-hmm. <affirmative>,
Speaker 2 00:33:20 It’s so rewarding. And that safe place can be fine. Find other survivors. Yes. Um, I know, I know there’s a lot of support groups online. Um, sharing with a therapist or a counselor is good, but it’s not the same.
Speaker 1 00:33:35 Yes, I agree. Therapist a hundred percent.
Speaker 2 00:33:38 Yeah. That there’s this rule of, they they’re, it’s part of their job is to listen to you and to get that information when if you’re sharing with someone on a more casual level, they’re doing it because they care. I, I, that came out wrong cuz I know therapists and counselors do care very, very much about,
Speaker 1 00:33:59 Well, I can jump into it just from my perspective from working as, as a therapist for 10 years in the population and, and I’m not a survivor of brain injury, so I feel like I’m the holder of these stories, you know, and I have to keep them in so I can’t let them out because of hipaa. Right. <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:34:16 Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:34:17 But I always, always, always encourage every one of my folks, Please go seek out community. Please go find a survivor group. You know, I connect them with neuro rehab, which is where I trained because I think there’s just things that happen in a community that I can’t provide. Of course they, you know, for a lot of reasons, it’s great to go to a counselor. Like if you have trauma and you need a specific therapy to kind of work through the trauma of your brain injury, which I can talk a ton about maybe on another podcast episode.
Speaker 2 00:34:47 Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:34:48 But it, there’s nothing like being in a group of people who have walked the same walk, who have shared the same story right there. It’s just so powerful. And the, and I think being in the same room with people that share your story and they get it in ways that other people can’t get it. So I say, go find your people. That’s why what any issue, go find your people.
Speaker 2 00:35:12 I think that’s such a good way, and I really like the word you use their community. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Cause I think that’s what’s so important is finding that community that where you feel comfortable sharing and other survivors. And then also when you find that community share with friends and family. I, Yeah. And it doesn’t have to be a formalized storytelling event where you rehearse and practice your story, but it’s a chance to talk and find other people who understand that experience.
Speaker 1 00:35:42 Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:35:43 Is such, such a uplifting time. Like you said, that community.
Speaker 1 00:35:47 Yeah. Awesome. Awesome. So I was gonna go to the quick kind of quick fire. Quick round. It’s not so quick. So if you need time, don’t worry. Uh, so the actionable tips we talked about, I just wanna go over those is start talking is what you talked about
Speaker 2 00:36:06 That that’s my number one tip.
Speaker 1 00:36:08 Yeah. Number one tip. Just start talking, start telling people,
Speaker 2 00:36:11 Start talking. Um, along with that I recommend journaling.
Speaker 1 00:36:15 Journaling. Okay.
Speaker 2 00:36:16 Yeah. I think, um, not to share with anyone, but I think sometimes when you just start talking, if the thoughts aren’t organized in your head, they come out like, uh, just a river that kind of washes over everyone. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> and it loses an audience, an audience by audience, I mean any listener real quick. I think taking the time to journal it, get your thoughts in order and figure out what is important, why is this event important to you or why is this part of the recovery process important? That I think just helps you put it in order for yourself. So then when you, when you tell someone, it’s a much clearer story and it’s much easier for them to relate to specific experiences.
Speaker 1 00:37:05 Yeah. So journaling, writing things down. Yeah. Um, and maybe I’m hearing like an outline of sorts, like Yeah,
Speaker 2 00:37:13 Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:37:14 Awesome.
Speaker 2 00:37:16 I I actually, I actually do think that it is good, very good to spend time to compose, maybe not word for word, but compose a general idea of the storytelling piece. It’s not necessary, but for me it helped a lot. I can say that because cuz I had these ideas clearly in my head. I had these events that I can pinpoint in my experience where I can say, this is an event for my story, for my, for my story. And I can tell it in a clear, concise, engaging manner.
Speaker 1 00:37:51 Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:37:53 And so, so for me, taking the time to actually write out and compose an actual storytelling piece helped that might not be for everyone. Like, I can’t, I can’t say that for sure yet, but that’s one of the things I’m doing research now to try
Speaker 1 00:38:05 And Yeah. And I would think storytelling for in the brain injury community might look a lot different than storytelling maybe for others because, you know, there, I’m just thinking of attention and memory might be a challenge. And so maybe finding different tools in different ways for someone to get their story out. You know, maybe for some people it’s writing maybe, you know, some people can like, record it on their phone. I’m thinking of like memory compensatory strategies from neuro rehab when I, in, when I did my training. So Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 2 00:38:37 Yeah. And yeah, there’s some different ways of, of kind of looking at it. I know one of the things we’re looking at now is, uh, making films.
Speaker 1 00:38:45 Oh,
Speaker 2 00:38:46 Getting a team together and actually having, uh, doing a digital storytelling.
Speaker 1 00:38:49 I love that.
Speaker 2 00:38:50 Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:38:52 Awesome. So I was gonna ask you in our, in our kind of quick fire round, what is one habit or routine that helps you in your recovery or in your life now?
Speaker 2 00:39:05 Um,
Speaker 2 00:39:08 The biggest thing, the biggest habit that I’m trying to get into is making a re making a routine. Um, a schedule. Having, having a schedule of, I get up around this time and I give myself lots of flexibility, but I get up around this time I study here, uh, from say 10 to noon I write or whatever it is, whatever it is. Having a clear schedule in my mind really helps out, really helps a lot. And I’ve, I’ve, I’ve done a lot of reading where that really helps a lot of people, a lot of survivors, just the rate, the repetition. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> is so very important. It helps you feel more productive, less lost, and it feels like you’re, you’re always going for something
Speaker 1 00:39:56 Awesome. Um,
Speaker 2 00:39:58 Yeah. So that, that’s one thing. The other thing is, uh, I, I always recommend find things that make you smile.
Speaker 1 00:40:05 I love it.
Speaker 2 00:40:06 Yeah. Just something small. But, uh, I used to do a thing, I don’t do it anymore. I should probably, but I, I called it a happiness journal.
Speaker 1 00:40:14 Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:40:14 Every day I would write down five things that made me smile. Even if it was a terrible day and I was just feeling depressed and dragging through the muck, I would think of something. I woke up and I farted and that made me laugh. <laugh> something, whatever it is, something small.
Speaker 1 00:40:38 I have two boys. So, you know, it’s often a topic of conversation in my home, let me tell you. Very
Speaker 2 00:40:43 Important. It’s, it’s releasing all the stress from the night.
Speaker 1 00:40:45 Of course, of course. <laugh>. Yeah. So my next question is, um, what is your favorite holiday food and who does it remind you of?
Speaker 2 00:40:57 Oh, um, that’s hard because I’ve, I’ve lived overseas for so long now. The holidays have all gotten kind of blurred together. But I think probably pie, thanksgiving pie,
Speaker 1 00:41:16 Any kind of Thanksgiving pie.
Speaker 2 00:41:18 Yes. Any kind of Thanksgiving pie,
Speaker 1 00:41:20 Any kind. Okay. For me it has to be like, my mom’s pecan pie I think is number
Speaker 2 00:41:25 One. Five. I was about to say pecan and pumpkin. Pecan and pumpkin. Yeah. And that makes me think of my, my parents and my dad. And I remember, I remember making pumpkin pie with my dad when I was, when I was a child. I, I have that memory of both my parents, but yeah. Especially, yeah. Making it with my dad and my mom. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:41:43 Awesome. What is one thing you would tell your younger self if you could, and this could be your pre-injury self or any point in your recover, your choice.
Speaker 2 00:41:57 Um, don’t get stuck on an idea.
Speaker 1 00:42:04 Hmm.
Speaker 2 00:42:05 Don’t get stuck on a plan. Uh, yeah. Cuz before, before my injury and as I started trying, trying to recover from my injury, I was very stuck on, I was going to be an actor, probably a starving artist, but I was gonna be such a, such a deeply motivated actor somewhere in a city somewhere doing something. And I, I was really stuck on that idea. And then it all changed after the injury. Um, uh, yeah. I, I just didn’t feel the same comfort in my skills and I didn’t feel the same drive. Um, and because of that I was lost. But when I started realizing that I didn’t need to do these things that had, that I had planned my whole life for
Speaker 1 00:42:54 Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 00:42:54 <affirmative>, I started really enjoying where it took me and I discovered storytelling and I started teaching abroad and I got married to a wonderful woman who I met in South Korea. And now we live in China so we can get to our house in Russia. And it’s just this international life that I never, I never, I never really expected to have. But I love it and I feel so privileged to have been able to experience at all.
Speaker 1 00:43:26 I love it. Yeah. Well, I think we’ll end with that. Thank you. Let so much for joining me today on TBI Therapist podcast. My pleasure. I think we’re gonna have to talk again. This was awesome.
Speaker 2 00:43:38 I look forward to it. I I really do. Yeah. Please stay in touch and I look forward to talking with you some more.
Speaker 1 00:43:43 Okay. Where should people connect with you? Where’s the best place to connect?
Speaker 2 00:43:47 Um, well, my website is, it should be, it should be up by the time this podcast is released@letcanlis.com. Uh, there’ll be a link in the notes. Um, my book, uh, it’s, it’s got a lot of good praise from, uh, all sorts of professionals, um, in a variety of different fields related to rehabilitation as well as people who are just learning from it. But I, I feel it’s a good, an intimate look at the process of, of early recovery and really makes a strong argument for why storytelling is such a beneficial tool. And that can be got, can be found on Amazon, the Amazon site, and you, you’ll be able to link from, from our link to it, from my website. Again, it’s who am I now using storytelling to accept and appreciate self-identity after T tbi.
Speaker 1 00:44:38 Awesome. Well, thanks so much again.
Speaker 2 00:44:42 My pleasure. Thank you so much. I
Speaker 7 00:44:47 Thank you for joining us today on the TBI Therapist podcast. Please visit tbi therapist.com for more information on brain injury, concussion and mental health. The information shared on today’s podcast is intended to provide information, awareness, and discussion on the topic. It is not clinical or medical advice. If you need mental health or medical advice, please seek a professional.
